I see you in my dreams. I remb the smallest details we've talked about. I cant control them anyway.
My 20th birthday with close frens, though i'm glad, but there's something missing. in retrospect, i missed my past birthdays. those special things we've done together. the first-time events. ok, as we move on in life, we're often reminded not to think back too much, but instead to put down the emotional baggage little by little.
Ok, so we had dinner in V8 movies cafe, the food was rather nice and well presented. I tried shirley temple which was not bad with the taste of 7up and something else. Haha. The omelette fantasy was superb, i'm gonna order it next time round.. Then we went home. Hmm now i can start to think of how to use the vouchers. Maybe on ettusais, or kino, or carebears at absolute comics, or in seiyu for paul and joe stuff. and topshop!! omg. i wonder if i can use it in daiso.. havent been to their new store at PS cos i'm so freaking busy!
Sometimes things jus doesnt go well, or u noe it kinda becomes screwed up. I hate to be forced, i have my principles and i wan face. yes i am materialistic at times, but i dun let it rule my life completely. what is real now? I am beginning to hate school as more and more work pile up, making me busy and stressed. I feel that i have so much to catch up with, i can hardly find time to slow down and take a peek behind the trees...
`why were u so late
there's gotta be more to life in fact, than just doing boring stuff. one moment this guy's alive, then the next second he's dead. its a scary fact that we dunno when we are gonna take our last breath, blink for the last time. and this is sufficient reason enough to motivate me to spend more money. like wut my lecturer said, why wait for tomorrow for wut u can do today?
its very true.. like if u wanna say i love you, why wait? like why u wanna take so long to decide if u shld buy those clothes, why wait? ok this is the new meaning in life. we dun take things for granted! family is very impt, when they feel good i also feel the same way.. though i like to shut myself in front of the com very often, i still care abt them.. i onli have one family and if i dun treasure them, i'm a bad girl.
altho i am tryin to save abit of my money, i'm still quite addicted to buying things. hmm. bought a new samsung lappy. quite nice and erm new things always are very unique. comex was crazy with loads of people and squeezing but nonetheless it was fun! i get to see alot of things. the deals were quite reasonable. as wut we singaporeans are bonkers about, DISCOUNTS and FREEBIES! my favourite. hee.
my group mates seem great, i hope it will be fun doing projects with them! i'm in love with strawberry fruit juice and milkshake. yummyyy. i been workin at the toy shop for the past 2 sats, bought a papa smurf and my long-awaited yujin 7 dwarfs! they are damn cute and for all things decorative, they made me happier. there's still a load of lists of things that i wanna get but its nv ending.. in economics term, we are all non-satiable. recently i'm watching nana anime, its quite nice and makes me mad abt vivienne westwood again. sigh. the necklace and wallet and knuckle busters!
now i'm thinking abt many things, like someone i've been missing i wonder if he's doing good there, like i wanna go HK to work, to graduate soon from uni.. i am very much in love with the life in HK.. it might be very hectic, but i love the hustle and bustle city, the beautiful peak, the busy roads, the endless throngs of people. but perhaps, things that doesn't belong to us always are special to us, that we treasure them much more than wut we have now. why issit we can always see something so far but not able to see wuts in front? hmm, maybe its nature. we yearn for things that is out of our reach. i dunno, but its always good to try to reach it rite? :)
`dai suki
its very true.. like if u wanna say i love you, why wait? like why u wanna take so long to decide if u shld buy those clothes, why wait? ok this is the new meaning in life. we dun take things for granted! family is very impt, when they feel good i also feel the same way.. though i like to shut myself in front of the com very often, i still care abt them.. i onli have one family and if i dun treasure them, i'm a bad girl.
altho i am tryin to save abit of my money, i'm still quite addicted to buying things. hmm. bought a new samsung lappy. quite nice and erm new things always are very unique. comex was crazy with loads of people and squeezing but nonetheless it was fun! i get to see alot of things. the deals were quite reasonable. as wut we singaporeans are bonkers about, DISCOUNTS and FREEBIES! my favourite. hee.
my group mates seem great, i hope it will be fun doing projects with them! i'm in love with strawberry fruit juice and milkshake. yummyyy. i been workin at the toy shop for the past 2 sats, bought a papa smurf and my long-awaited yujin 7 dwarfs! they are damn cute and for all things decorative, they made me happier. there's still a load of lists of things that i wanna get but its nv ending.. in economics term, we are all non-satiable. recently i'm watching nana anime, its quite nice and makes me mad abt vivienne westwood again. sigh. the necklace and wallet and knuckle busters!
now i'm thinking abt many things, like someone i've been missing i wonder if he's doing good there, like i wanna go HK to work, to graduate soon from uni.. i am very much in love with the life in HK.. it might be very hectic, but i love the hustle and bustle city, the beautiful peak, the busy roads, the endless throngs of people. but perhaps, things that doesn't belong to us always are special to us, that we treasure them much more than wut we have now. why issit we can always see something so far but not able to see wuts in front? hmm, maybe its nature. we yearn for things that is out of our reach. i dunno, but its always good to try to reach it rite? :)
`dai suki
There was once a time where in this world I was the main character in the story, it felt as if I was walking on clouds and my heart, always pounding, That feeling was good, as if our love filled up to the skies. One man came who gave me that happiness but like that, he left.
I used to have only one dream. As i grow older, that dream become into more dreams and so on. last time, my very one dream was to travel the world, to look at the different landscapes and admire the beauty of earth, to experience different cultures in all parts of the world, to eat so many foods from different restaurants and to get in touch with people of the world. until now i still believe in this dream but i find myself distancing from ppl, from my own feelings.
When i was 16, i dreamt of having good grades and then goin on to junior college. if i could get better, i wanted to further my studies abroad at some good college in the states. i guess i read too many books during tt time. those books perked me up and made me think of how life will be different if i was overseas, if i was a freshmen in some preppy college, if i was an exchange student working at a restaurant and of cos going to a prom night as of all girls' dreams. But then after 9/11, i figured it was too dangerous to study there so i shelved that dream till it would be more appropriate. teehee
when i was 17 and 18, i was studying business in poly. i had a little dream of being successful at work, earning loads of money so i could buy alot of clothes and makeup. i wanted to do well in school, find a bf and live beautifully. most of it came true, and then i found myself dreaming to be with my love together forever, to spend each day thinking and missing each other, to cook and to have a happy family in future. i wanted to do things that others did, so sweet and never forget about the memories in life. we dreamt of opening a toyshop, making money, going places. and then i wish for time to be like this so amazing always.
at 19, i dream of making more money to satisfy my horrible shopping habits. it jus goes continuously. i dream of a love which will be everlasting and i dream of being able to judge people as i grow older. who's good who's bad i want to noe. i wish that life will take a back seat and pass slowly so that i can enjoy the little things in life that i probably missed out or will. i still dream of travelling very much nowadays and one day i hope i can settle down in some countryside when i'm old. however if i'm still young, i wanna live in big cities, walk down the cobbled streets, or pass by the endless buildings, living in apartments that overlook the buzz in the city.
`dreams can be so interesting if only you dare to.
I used to have only one dream. As i grow older, that dream become into more dreams and so on. last time, my very one dream was to travel the world, to look at the different landscapes and admire the beauty of earth, to experience different cultures in all parts of the world, to eat so many foods from different restaurants and to get in touch with people of the world. until now i still believe in this dream but i find myself distancing from ppl, from my own feelings.
When i was 16, i dreamt of having good grades and then goin on to junior college. if i could get better, i wanted to further my studies abroad at some good college in the states. i guess i read too many books during tt time. those books perked me up and made me think of how life will be different if i was overseas, if i was a freshmen in some preppy college, if i was an exchange student working at a restaurant and of cos going to a prom night as of all girls' dreams. But then after 9/11, i figured it was too dangerous to study there so i shelved that dream till it would be more appropriate. teehee
when i was 17 and 18, i was studying business in poly. i had a little dream of being successful at work, earning loads of money so i could buy alot of clothes and makeup. i wanted to do well in school, find a bf and live beautifully. most of it came true, and then i found myself dreaming to be with my love together forever, to spend each day thinking and missing each other, to cook and to have a happy family in future. i wanted to do things that others did, so sweet and never forget about the memories in life. we dreamt of opening a toyshop, making money, going places. and then i wish for time to be like this so amazing always.
at 19, i dream of making more money to satisfy my horrible shopping habits. it jus goes continuously. i dream of a love which will be everlasting and i dream of being able to judge people as i grow older. who's good who's bad i want to noe. i wish that life will take a back seat and pass slowly so that i can enjoy the little things in life that i probably missed out or will. i still dream of travelling very much nowadays and one day i hope i can settle down in some countryside when i'm old. however if i'm still young, i wanna live in big cities, walk down the cobbled streets, or pass by the endless buildings, living in apartments that overlook the buzz in the city.
`dreams can be so interesting if only you dare to.
where's my sam shik?
sch's started a week ago, i cant wait for tutorials cos at least there's a reason to talk compared to lectures. i'm quite stressed actually for a particular sub cos he said he gonna assume no prior knowledge, ok fine. But what i feel is tt i am lucky to hv taken it before as i don't tink the stuff he explains can go across to those who nv learn it before. even i was abit wavered. geez. and one more thing, i totally hate the bidding and balloting system.
u noe, i'm starting to try to be alil more independent than i was in poly, where i relied on frens to update me abt lect notes being posted already blah blah.. haha. i seriously hv to learn to do things on my own! hmmph.
nowadays gst is rather high, i've realised i din officially bought clothings from a PHYSICAL store for like a month or so? now the trend is ONLINE SHOPPING! Jenn and me are sort of crazy over the sprees. hahah. money is very hard to earn, yet i can't control the spendthrift streak in me nowadays. like i said, shopping makes me feel happier but i jus wanna live life this way. my aunt was saying, we don't noe when we're gonna die, so this becomes our valid reason why we shld start spending some cash now rather than bringing it along into the coffin.
and so, life's always gotta have some entertainment like watching tv dramas and animes. recently i was watching this korean drama, i felt like i was so in love with the cute guy in the show. partly it was, but i thought for quite awhile i realised that i was in love with the way the portrayal of love in retrospect of life. sometimes i wish for it to happen right before me, sometimes i look back in life everytime the actress said something meaningful, it felt so truthful. i wan to live a truthful life, being honest abt my own feelings, being able to be myself, to be loved for being real, to laugh it out loud and to view life in a grown-up manner.
but afterall it is just a show that reminded me of the kind of things that will onli happen in the dreams. how true is it? how realistic is it? it may not be. we all look for parts of ourselves in shows, we relate to the characters in it, we feel the same way as they do, it is but a show?
sch's started a week ago, i cant wait for tutorials cos at least there's a reason to talk compared to lectures. i'm quite stressed actually for a particular sub cos he said he gonna assume no prior knowledge, ok fine. But what i feel is tt i am lucky to hv taken it before as i don't tink the stuff he explains can go across to those who nv learn it before. even i was abit wavered. geez. and one more thing, i totally hate the bidding and balloting system.
u noe, i'm starting to try to be alil more independent than i was in poly, where i relied on frens to update me abt lect notes being posted already blah blah.. haha. i seriously hv to learn to do things on my own! hmmph.
nowadays gst is rather high, i've realised i din officially bought clothings from a PHYSICAL store for like a month or so? now the trend is ONLINE SHOPPING! Jenn and me are sort of crazy over the sprees. hahah. money is very hard to earn, yet i can't control the spendthrift streak in me nowadays. like i said, shopping makes me feel happier but i jus wanna live life this way. my aunt was saying, we don't noe when we're gonna die, so this becomes our valid reason why we shld start spending some cash now rather than bringing it along into the coffin.
and so, life's always gotta have some entertainment like watching tv dramas and animes. recently i was watching this korean drama, i felt like i was so in love with the cute guy in the show. partly it was, but i thought for quite awhile i realised that i was in love with the way the portrayal of love in retrospect of life. sometimes i wish for it to happen right before me, sometimes i look back in life everytime the actress said something meaningful, it felt so truthful. i wan to live a truthful life, being honest abt my own feelings, being able to be myself, to be loved for being real, to laugh it out loud and to view life in a grown-up manner.
but afterall it is just a show that reminded me of the kind of things that will onli happen in the dreams. how true is it? how realistic is it? it may not be. we all look for parts of ourselves in shows, we relate to the characters in it, we feel the same way as they do, it is but a show?
They say when you're out of love, you're like a stray dog. Some kind soul decides to take you in, but later you find that you can't adapt to the new place and you decide to leave again to search for ur ideal home...
Finally i'm getting into uni, which is sth i am still quite surprised looking at my ability and tardiness. but hey tts becos i do things when i'm supposed to! my dad always say i'm so lazy and he's sick lookin at the untidy table, bed and floor splattered with endless of things. yes one day i will pack it, only when i feel like it. BUT, i really put in effort in poly to study and do my projects well, i am definitely not going to let anyone or myself down cos the feeling sucks. i studied cos i had my motivation when i'm with him to do well together, for us to do well in studies was very important. we strived hard, we stayed over together to rush our stuff. it was really fun times, to me, despite the stress we got. nothing can ever be better.
I guess its time to go back to blogging after such a long break. i still feel crappy now and then but i've learnt to hide it beneath my urh happy face. if i keep showing my sad face 365 days, i am letting myself down and to life. somehow it seems to be working, i don't want ppl to tink i'm such an emo person for the past 1 year of my life. Unimaginable. so i try to be happy and i am, jus tat sadness is always more overpowering than anything thing else for me. happy this second, depressed next second, and it jus goes on and on and on.
So for uni, its quite interesting yet tiring to plan and bid for my modules. i swear it is one of the toughest mind games u've ever come across. lucky i pass my qet which means i hv lesser burden. i don't show my level of english here o.O now i understand the need for a contingency PLAN, if u dun wanna get frantic about losing a bid for ur modules and start mind-whirling about thinking wuts the next step u shld do in order to secure urself sth. BACK UP BACK UP! Its great we get to plan OTOT but its really a headache to plan. but hey, we all learn something out of something. its nv useless. I din manage to get all that i wanted but i'm gonna try again in round 2A this morning. sounds like some boxing match, i pay more money i get to whack u and i win.
Back from HK trip 06, it was really fun goin with the usual people, stayin in causeway bay, looking out to the highrise on the hill top, eating maggi mee every supper, bathing and waiting, shopping, disneyland was great too, jus tat we went late, we missed out certain good shit in HK, but i'm glad at least i've experienced it before. it was really fun eating at cafe de coral, cheap and good. but basically SHOPPING AND SHOPPING. and the hui lau shan's mango drink. went back to certain places we've been before, the images flashed back, i turned around i imagined it was him with me but no. i still tink of how sad we were sitting outside intercontinental hotel, facing the harbour, feeling very sad about leaving the wonderful place last year. it was tt windy night, our batteries ran out, the uncle pushed his squeaky cart of drinks and flowers, along the quiet avenue of stars. i almost cried. i really hated to leave. in the plane back i tot of him and i couldn't sleep at all.
Anyway, it was quite a rewarding trip even though i deeply regret not bringing more money. i could have bought more stuff back. nvm i will be going back hk again next summer, by then i shld be more prepared aight? hehe. i've shopped and spent alot since the breakup, i supposed doing so made me feel better and it really did. so far in abt 4 mths, i have spent more than 1000 bucks on clothes, face and food. this is really a serious problem. i dun earn enough, but i spend like mad. i wan to earn my own keeps, i work hard for money till i juggled 3 jobs at a go, jus to find myself handing the cash over to the smiling cashier.
recently watched pirates of the carribean and hard candy. both was nice, not lame at all. though the latter was super sick, it made me cringe. haha. and for POC2, johnny depp's acting was really superb, i like! yesterday we were supposed to watch fireworks, but i was late and thus missed it. sigh but heard it wasn't very nice either. so it wasnt very regretful.. we went to zouk to watch dj shadow's performance, it was really great. the crowd was nice, except for some stupid retards, it jus shows that looks ain't everything, u have to be a little more street smart or common sense. if u tink u look good and u dress so awfully nice, u might have to tink twice whether or not u get tat 2nd appraising look from others. my toes are downtrodden, i have a bruise on my hand i wonder who did that when they are passing by. shit.
and then this afternoon i wake up i planned my timetable, with many backup plans in mind. RELOAD.
`i hope he's happy and healthy everyday.
Finally i'm getting into uni, which is sth i am still quite surprised looking at my ability and tardiness. but hey tts becos i do things when i'm supposed to! my dad always say i'm so lazy and he's sick lookin at the untidy table, bed and floor splattered with endless of things. yes one day i will pack it, only when i feel like it. BUT, i really put in effort in poly to study and do my projects well, i am definitely not going to let anyone or myself down cos the feeling sucks. i studied cos i had my motivation when i'm with him to do well together, for us to do well in studies was very important. we strived hard, we stayed over together to rush our stuff. it was really fun times, to me, despite the stress we got. nothing can ever be better.
I guess its time to go back to blogging after such a long break. i still feel crappy now and then but i've learnt to hide it beneath my urh happy face. if i keep showing my sad face 365 days, i am letting myself down and to life. somehow it seems to be working, i don't want ppl to tink i'm such an emo person for the past 1 year of my life. Unimaginable. so i try to be happy and i am, jus tat sadness is always more overpowering than anything thing else for me. happy this second, depressed next second, and it jus goes on and on and on.
So for uni, its quite interesting yet tiring to plan and bid for my modules. i swear it is one of the toughest mind games u've ever come across. lucky i pass my qet which means i hv lesser burden. i don't show my level of english here o.O now i understand the need for a contingency PLAN, if u dun wanna get frantic about losing a bid for ur modules and start mind-whirling about thinking wuts the next step u shld do in order to secure urself sth. BACK UP BACK UP! Its great we get to plan OTOT but its really a headache to plan. but hey, we all learn something out of something. its nv useless. I din manage to get all that i wanted but i'm gonna try again in round 2A this morning. sounds like some boxing match, i pay more money i get to whack u and i win.
Back from HK trip 06, it was really fun goin with the usual people, stayin in causeway bay, looking out to the highrise on the hill top, eating maggi mee every supper, bathing and waiting, shopping, disneyland was great too, jus tat we went late, we missed out certain good shit in HK, but i'm glad at least i've experienced it before. it was really fun eating at cafe de coral, cheap and good. but basically SHOPPING AND SHOPPING. and the hui lau shan's mango drink. went back to certain places we've been before, the images flashed back, i turned around i imagined it was him with me but no. i still tink of how sad we were sitting outside intercontinental hotel, facing the harbour, feeling very sad about leaving the wonderful place last year. it was tt windy night, our batteries ran out, the uncle pushed his squeaky cart of drinks and flowers, along the quiet avenue of stars. i almost cried. i really hated to leave. in the plane back i tot of him and i couldn't sleep at all.
Anyway, it was quite a rewarding trip even though i deeply regret not bringing more money. i could have bought more stuff back. nvm i will be going back hk again next summer, by then i shld be more prepared aight? hehe. i've shopped and spent alot since the breakup, i supposed doing so made me feel better and it really did. so far in abt 4 mths, i have spent more than 1000 bucks on clothes, face and food. this is really a serious problem. i dun earn enough, but i spend like mad. i wan to earn my own keeps, i work hard for money till i juggled 3 jobs at a go, jus to find myself handing the cash over to the smiling cashier.
recently watched pirates of the carribean and hard candy. both was nice, not lame at all. though the latter was super sick, it made me cringe. haha. and for POC2, johnny depp's acting was really superb, i like! yesterday we were supposed to watch fireworks, but i was late and thus missed it. sigh but heard it wasn't very nice either. so it wasnt very regretful.. we went to zouk to watch dj shadow's performance, it was really great. the crowd was nice, except for some stupid retards, it jus shows that looks ain't everything, u have to be a little more street smart or common sense. if u tink u look good and u dress so awfully nice, u might have to tink twice whether or not u get tat 2nd appraising look from others. my toes are downtrodden, i have a bruise on my hand i wonder who did that when they are passing by. shit.
and then this afternoon i wake up i planned my timetable, with many backup plans in mind. RELOAD.
`i hope he's happy and healthy everyday.
It’s like they will die if they can’t have their fucking way;
Clubbing has nv been such fun and sort of a new realization.
Met up with nancy for dinner in town before heading to zouk for crystal’s celebration and the Fresh! Hip-hop event. Wore a frilly green top and ¾ jeans, I feel much comfortable actually. Tied up my very limp untidy hair and tad-ah! Neat. I feel so much better when tt guy said I actually look younger than I was in tat asylum-seeker photo. Guess it made my day. It might be true, it might not be, but who cares when I’ve heard it myself? It’s every (older) girl’s dreams to be acknowledged as younger! It tears our hearts apart when someone comments we actually look old.
OK anyway, it was quite fun dancing and drinking and watching beautiful people walk past. We all had our good and bad times at the club. And that’s because we had quite a shitty time deciding whether to go eat or not after clubbing.
`Think harder.
Clubbing has nv been such fun and sort of a new realization.
Met up with nancy for dinner in town before heading to zouk for crystal’s celebration and the Fresh! Hip-hop event. Wore a frilly green top and ¾ jeans, I feel much comfortable actually. Tied up my very limp untidy hair and tad-ah! Neat. I feel so much better when tt guy said I actually look younger than I was in tat asylum-seeker photo. Guess it made my day. It might be true, it might not be, but who cares when I’ve heard it myself? It’s every (older) girl’s dreams to be acknowledged as younger! It tears our hearts apart when someone comments we actually look old.
OK anyway, it was quite fun dancing and drinking and watching beautiful people walk past. We all had our good and bad times at the club. And that’s because we had quite a shitty time deciding whether to go eat or not after clubbing.
`Think harder.
school's finally over for us,
who's had enuff of all the late nights rush, and bitching.
accounting was a killer. i have NO confidence in it at all cos my answers didn't tally with the rest. law was ok, i hope i can do better. wore my new birkenstocks to school, felt so great in it cos it looks nice. i try to wear jeans often now becos it satisfies my need to be more "free-spirited" in my actions.
i am free now, very relaxed and cool. its like, being revived after being dead for how many years. trying to apply for uni, with the choices, curtin looks to give me the course that is exactly wut i want; accounting and marketing. but well, i still need time to tink over first. it's a lifetime decision!!
i saw this burberry handbag at dfs tt day. it costs like $560. it looks cute. it looks the way i love it to be.
and it looks like i cant afford it. :(
`i'm trying hard
who's had enuff of all the late nights rush, and bitching.
accounting was a killer. i have NO confidence in it at all cos my answers didn't tally with the rest. law was ok, i hope i can do better. wore my new birkenstocks to school, felt so great in it cos it looks nice. i try to wear jeans often now becos it satisfies my need to be more "free-spirited" in my actions.
i am free now, very relaxed and cool. its like, being revived after being dead for how many years. trying to apply for uni, with the choices, curtin looks to give me the course that is exactly wut i want; accounting and marketing. but well, i still need time to tink over first. it's a lifetime decision!!
i saw this burberry handbag at dfs tt day. it costs like $560. it looks cute. it looks the way i love it to be.
and it looks like i cant afford it. :(
`i'm trying hard
I have not blogged for quite some time.. due to projects and exams, guess there was no need at tt time to keep whining about my problems. anyway it has been quite a traumatic time rushing projects, keeping up with the tasks, filling in voids tts left over, turned my life with groupmates upside down. sometimes i tink its quite great tt we are meritocratic, in a way where ppl who dun work hard to earn their keeps shld really deserve nothing at all. it will be quite unfair, for the hardworking ppl to put in extra to make up for the deeds done by the others who are not. they jus dun understand.
Poly life whizzed past and i realised i'm graduating soon. Those 3 years or shorter, were really the best times of my entire life. I had fun, i was 18, i had a boyfren, i had great frens, i had my freedom. It was all tat i ever wanted to be. Sadly its gonna be dust in the wind soon, and i always hated such feelings, tat is to leave something for good, never going to come back again, this life we've led. in my mind i reverse the time, i snapped back to reality and zoomed! everything's not the way it used to be. people change, people come and go, this is such a fucking cruel thing becos we dun often get wut we want..
while queueing for the hk cafe on vday with my family, i overheard 1 guy complaining to his buddy: "hey, dun u tink its quite gay, 2 of us on valentine's day?" and then they sauntered off, clicking on their handphones.
alrite, its not cool to not celebrate vday with a loved one. so, i spared myself from the world of love givings in the air. i din wanna remind myself of the sad things. because of u, i've learnt alot abt love, experienced wut love is like, and i found out about myself, tt i wasnt really a nice girl to be with. i fought hard for my way of thinking, for the love i want to keep, but fighting really soured all the fun. then when i tink abt the past vday, how idiotic and mad i was, i got quite guilty and regretted the way i behaved but at the end, u gave me wut i really wished for, so i became happy again. i shld have been contented with having my love with me. its too late, but i will remind myself not to make the same mistake again, if ever. humans regret for their whole life, dont they?
i will be going back to HK once again on 4th april. guess its gonna be a fun-filled trip with shopping and playing and eating. free accommodation, cheap air tickets, wut more can i ask for!
i'm excited but i'm not showing it.
`i still wish u were here
Poly life whizzed past and i realised i'm graduating soon. Those 3 years or shorter, were really the best times of my entire life. I had fun, i was 18, i had a boyfren, i had great frens, i had my freedom. It was all tat i ever wanted to be. Sadly its gonna be dust in the wind soon, and i always hated such feelings, tat is to leave something for good, never going to come back again, this life we've led. in my mind i reverse the time, i snapped back to reality and zoomed! everything's not the way it used to be. people change, people come and go, this is such a fucking cruel thing becos we dun often get wut we want..
while queueing for the hk cafe on vday with my family, i overheard 1 guy complaining to his buddy: "hey, dun u tink its quite gay, 2 of us on valentine's day?" and then they sauntered off, clicking on their handphones.
alrite, its not cool to not celebrate vday with a loved one. so, i spared myself from the world of love givings in the air. i din wanna remind myself of the sad things. because of u, i've learnt alot abt love, experienced wut love is like, and i found out about myself, tt i wasnt really a nice girl to be with. i fought hard for my way of thinking, for the love i want to keep, but fighting really soured all the fun. then when i tink abt the past vday, how idiotic and mad i was, i got quite guilty and regretted the way i behaved but at the end, u gave me wut i really wished for, so i became happy again. i shld have been contented with having my love with me. its too late, but i will remind myself not to make the same mistake again, if ever. humans regret for their whole life, dont they?
i will be going back to HK once again on 4th april. guess its gonna be a fun-filled trip with shopping and playing and eating. free accommodation, cheap air tickets, wut more can i ask for!
i'm excited but i'm not showing it.
`i still wish u were here