i used to think of love so much, everytime i did, it jus made me regret alot of things.. alot of things i cud have not done it, things that i cud have done to make it better, i din. but becos its been over for a long time, i realised the pain was not as prominent as before, it wasn't as hurtful, i din seem to mind it anymore. slowly i am already forsaking the love i hold onto, not becos it was useless to me but looking at things the way it is, i suppose it will be the best way out for me.

and all these tt i was goin thru, maybe only a few will really noe how hard it is to let go of sth.. and this is not talkin abt letting go temporarily, it is indefinitely. first love, and precisely all the uncountable first-times together, cannot be let go as easily as u think. they were wonderful moments, very unforgettable perhaps in my whole lifetime. but this love i have, is fading. it jus feels like i'm watching the sunset every end of the day. its pointless after too long a period. one day i jus have to turn around and walk away..

and i am. letting go is not forgetting abt everything, its abt starting life afresh, all the love and memories kept in the head but not the heart anymore. if not, the pain is gonna return somehow.. ultimately i will miss those sweet times but i will not let it take control over my emotions again.

`counting down to the end of 4 and the half years.