3 down, 2 to go..

Die ah die.. my econs and stats papers gonna fail... sigh.. i shld hv copied out answers steps into my cheat sheet instead of formulas! i learnt a lesson, but pls let me have a pass for all modules at least please!!! I am desperate. If i gonna get kicked out of school or repeat my module, its the most demoralising thing thats gonna happen to me, ever. this is the ultimate stress level.. the worst kinda exams i've taken. worst than driving test!

anyway, mno was ok, hope i can at least get a B for it.. i realised i cannot do maths related subjects. in poly everything was easy to comprehend and DO if u put in some effort but down here in uni i guess its more of a consistency in learning thing. geez. a discrepancy in the level i am gonna overcome it if given the chance for next sem! gambatte ah!! *pray hard*

i thought about many things during my weeks of confinement.. yes, it drives me crazy to be trapped at home. U noe its been bloody 20 years and what have i accomplished? how do u define accomplishment? i havent found an exact answer yet. but for now it would be to earn big bucks, get a good exciting job/housewife and get married HAHA. perhaps it is a tad too cliche but this is my dream. all in all, i just wanna get intimate with happiness and these are my tools towards attaining that coveted feeling. but these things wasn't just wut i have understood. my long fruitless wait, the pains of going thru those moments just get on my nerves. why am i still doing this? until sth happened, and i finally am determined to say i give up thinking abt it anymore. this is the end of a long dream or nightmare if u call it.

while working in iras i still remb jx said it takes 3 years to forget 1 year of a relationship. though it sounds not quite logical, but if he's correct then it will take me more than 3 years to do so. So WHAT NOW! i must not carry those emotional baggage any further. i am feeling hunched already. After going to uni, alot of ppl have been asking things like 'why nv find bf', 'why cannot find' or why u still single this and that. even my uncle asked me that. how the hell am i gonna answer these senseless stuff. its not that thing abt having a bf tts nonsensical, but rather why do they take for granted i HAVE to find one in uni? i thought abt it quite a long while u noe, plus i was talking to bridget abt it ytd. First thing is that i have NOT met the right one. second, i tink uni life's too busy to focus on finding a bf than to do my projects. of cos if he comes along then great, if not, then wut can i do really. THIRD, i dun really socialise much in uni cos its pretty much boring to stay in sch so i make it a point to have lessons straight and leave asap. Not like TP where things are so much relaxed and fun. lastly, i dun jus grab any guys that come along! *yawns*

There's this newspaper article which mentioned abt girls who slept ard are termed door "knobs" in clubs. the rationale behind was that many guys already had their "turn(s)" at the "knobs". quite cool now tt ppl dun blatantly use the word "Cheap".

`Anyway i miss those days in secondary school and poly!! so FUN so FUn Fun fun......