happy chinese new year.

had the usual steamboat that is my favourite. new year new hopes. din plan on going out, but then in the end went to chinatown area with jerry, desmond and zhijun. bought alot of the AUTHENTIC taiwan's mochi, many many flavours, a bag of $10. now i'm thinking if i got cheated.

anyway, i tink it shld be ok cos i've eaten it before. its quite yummy. sighs. i still remb so clearly the last new year we've spent together, u rushing ur proj and hanging out with ur little cousins. chinatown used to be our nice memories, eating porridge, walking the late night market and looking at the uncle shouting auctions. i still miss those times at chinatown with u, jus like how u used to...

went mustafa, the perfumes and beauty stuff are rather cheap compared to outside. so next time i can go over here to stock up on masks, etc. ate the lavender's piggy stuff soup, which was DAMN delicious! hee.

`hope everyone burst their red packets.

how do i pick myself up?

working has taken a toll on me, my whole lifestyle had to change to accommodate the new one.. wonder why i'm still so hung up on u, issit becos i dun wanna move on or cos i still cant let go

it is so hard to say goodbye, so hard to kiss goodbye, so hard to say i miss u, so hard not to think or forget abt u, since the day u were gone... my life and hope has fallen to pit bottom, yes i did tried to pick myself up but there's always things that make me give up trying to let go..

Yeah everyone's sayin tat i shld jus move on blah blah. don't u all ever understand that once u love u dun let go of it? i also noe its a matter of whether i wanna do it or not. but seriously i don't and i noe i deserve to feel so depressed becos of this.

A pointless life; having an attachment at sicc.

makes me feel like getting rich and buying myself all the things i want..

yet nothing can buy me your love.

met great new colleagues, wonderful food, a stressful environment, i can only bear with it. here i am, doing the best i can to answer calls, to type letters, to give the best front-desk service to the members. i am friendly i am nice. everyday its tough not to think about the sad things, and keeping myself busy proved to be of some help..

i been tryin to run away from my problems, but i couldn't move a single bit.. i was stressed by work and troubled with thoughts.. though laughing with colleagues was good i try to be happy, i try not to cry like i always do, i try not to think about u and me, i try not to love u, try yet try not to forget u, i tried i tried so hard to contain all the times we had together for the past 1yr6mths... the moment i wake up, the first thing was to check my hp like the times u would msg me every morning... nothing appeared however.

and finally i wished you were here

My love is gone. Wut now? This is so sick and terrible, becos i dun wanna hear all these ever again and i refused to believe everything u have said to me in the car.. all i keep doing was to stuff my brain with those happy lovely memories, and u keep flashing back in the mind, because darling i'm nv truly happy if u're not around. i cant talk i don't know what to say to make u stay again this time round. something's stuck in my throat and i stay awake at nite crying, i still feel the bloody pain tat this is happening again, much more from the one i love most in my whole fucking life.

it will be so hard living without u.. every moment, that i have remembered, every place we have gone to, the cutest u have given to me with ur love, the little toy babies, yet things had come till the very end i had no choice but to let u break away from me... neither do i wan u to lie to me nor me to force us to reach an ending that would leave us all fake and unhappy..

the tears keep flowing, i keep thinking and i'm going crazy

`without you i'm nothing, really

It's been a long while...

exams over, holidays start before i plunge into the dreaded SIP!! But i cant really care much except tt i will really whine alot if i gotten a bad LOCATION and pay and colleagues. So, had to enjoy as much as i can, sounds like death but its onli temporary. HOWEVER, sometimes the worst u hv expected jus happens even in such situations. Such as going to the toilet jus to realise u forgot to unzip, like having to throw away the money instead of receipt, etc. Watched the longest yard and one more chance, both are really funny. i like LY better cos its REALLY funny and there's adam sandler. Both are prison-related. Seems to be in tune with the govt's recent yellow ribbon campaign. As usual, i hv no much comments i rather be sitting on the fence.

Yes, my 19th bday is coming on friday. wonder wut i will get, wonder wut will it be like, and definitely i am happy! Will be going zouk on wednesday with the girls! Cant wait to eat sakura too cos we are all foodies. Nv been there to club yet except for fleas. Like wut crystal says, its a virgin visit! Eheh, guess will be celebrating again on fri. Crazy about wanroom toys cos its damn cute with those puppy faces on the furniture!!

Sometimes, things get a little boring. Looks like ur fingers are so far apart from each other, they still are together. I wish there wasn't such things as sip, or others, so i wun be far away. I wish i was the one u confided in, so i wun be far away too. Many things detach as time passes, yet i am resisting the power and i dun wan to be alone to do so. Sometimes, i dunno wut love is or should be like. Issit to be with each other everyday and not leave an inch apart? Or could it exist in the form of less intense kind and not as much contact? Will it be as lovely? I worry becos i will feel detached. Its tough only meeting 52 days in a year. Miss those school days studying together.

Ahh, playing games can be fun and funny. Played tennis game on xbox with my idiotic brother, ok its really funny cos i din know how to control Pete Sampras tt day and ended laughing like mad. He's like running ard the whole court and missing the balls. Wahahaa. Trying to make full use of the hols actually.

`Sweet-talkings and many "i love u"..

heya. its study week and i'm gonna study hard. but of cos play comes before work, tts why went shopping with nancy on fri. plaza singapura changed quite alot, esp with the new stores appearing one after another. we went shopping for shoes! ok i spotted the c&k birkenstock lookalike and another ball-y flats from p.o.a.. so wondering which one to buy now.. psst. i bought a polka dot roxy slipper! i love polka dots esp if its colorful. and i saw the dancing stitch! haha but 15 bucks le.. abit exp for a toy.. sigh..

sat met up with darling. went to maxwell area to find some shops, and walked quite sometime hahha.. we couldn't find the asylum.. before tat we pass by the scarlet hotel, wow tt hotel is like very classic and nostalgic kind! irresistably beautiful!! the shops in there are also very classy.. nice. then we walk a few round before we spot the asylum.. they got lots of books and cds and one fridge which we normally see in a cake shop but they use it to display shoes! hmm.. i saw a nara notebook its damn cute.. darling bought a bag and i bought meiji choco cafe.. wahaha.. later he brought me to an egg tart pastry shop which sells very crusty and yummy egg tartsssss~~~ so nice and big! then went to orchard.. wanted to watch 36 but the timing's not to our favour.. so we chose the maid.. it was nt bad with some scary parts.. the storyline comes with a twist.. but the people in the cinema spoilt the mood.. noisy and comments alot, talk on phone damn loud and the seats are damn squeezy.. lido 4 is not good! anyway, bought cup noodles and some snacks to his house to eat and stayover! watched old boy, its nice.. hahaha i am smart to guess the story~ ok its abt incest and revenge.. nice story and the way it is filmed is exceptional. now i noe why its r21.. i enjoy staying over cos it means more time together! and i'm really happy to go new places with u.

`its a peaceful wonderful lovely saturday.

hello.. i'm here again to recall. sometimes i really hate to blog, because i dun like to recall things tt are wayback especially to a computer and i dun blog often. But, the one reason i blog, is because i wan to keep my memories somewhere out here, since i dun keep a diary or wut.. I jus watched Perth and Land of the Dead. Well, they're not bad i quite like them. Perth is really Singaporean though there's alot of cursing and swearing in it.. Its funny esp the parts where Angry Boy Lee appeared. He is violent and curses alot in a funny way and i like his character cos i tink he's jus a nice guy afterall. i dun like harry cos he's very abusive (goes hysteric when he's drunk) and i feel he's a chauvinist stuck in the olden days with his dreams of going to Perth. Somehow i feel that the whole Perth thing is some kind of illusion that he tinks its real (although he's really going there in the movie, which he also din in the end cos he went to hell instead) Selva is an indian but talks with a malay slang i tink.. wahaha.. anyway its a massacre. Land of the dead is very gory to me although darling dun tink it is. Esp when the hand is torn into 2 and when the zombie bit and pulled off the belly ring of one victim! Yucks. I find it nice bah cos i like this kind of action-pack and scary movies. haha.. bedok princess is a nice place actually cos we can change seats and rest our legs! and its CHEAP!

i'm very happy old Ronald's Twister fries are back cos i love it alot since new year. i wonder if they stole the recipe from A&W's curly fries; they taste abt the same. it will be great if they come up with some nice and cheap waffle ice-creams. HIAK HIAK. food makes me excited besides meeting up with darling every once a week! sigh. i really enjoy ur company and i love being with u. Past few weeks we've been watching fireworks, sorry to drag u there even when u're tired... the one on national day was the best cos its really right in front of us and we can see 3 sides of fireworks!! lucky we din walk away!! b4 that we also saw the army vehicles all that, those guys were really full of antics. damn funny. so many ppl but i like the mood! wahaha so patriotic. the carnival was ok lah not much stuff. went with usual ppl the day before national day to watch the countdown fireworks, yeap it was good too despite running up sheare's bridge panting and perspiring so disgustingly. ate porridge at chinatown and off home again! oh yeah i am in love with old chang kee's curry puffs, so hot and yummy!!!

Ok back to my life. Projects are finally over and i am very tired but also relaxed rite now.. but projs really suck i dun tink will score well this sem again. SIGHHHH. i am so sad. please grant me my wish ah!! Exams start on the 3rd Sept and end on 9th. WOOHOO. can't wait to get this all done with. after that i will take a small lil break before the stupid sip begins. one thing good is the money and i can get to noe more ppl, maybe learn a few tricks wutsoever. haha.. other than that, its HORRIBLE!!! have to wake up early, get tired very easily, worst is if i'm the loner there. ARGGGh. yeah project superstar is really nonsensical. how can the results be like tt!!

ytd met crystal and went orchard together.. wahaha talk some crap again on the train i realise we are so full of rubbish! walk ard and ate chicken rice at far east.. lalala then she went home.. later met darling for movie and dinner. went to cineleisure to turn the toys.. thanks to him i got wut i wanted (jackjack) and a few more extra woodies. wahahahhaaha u noe if u tink getting those woodies were extreme bad luck, then how abt getting an empty capsule? wahahaha when he turn and got an empty one, i cant stop laughing ok it was sooo funny!! dun be sad ok, luck has ups and downs sometime! heeheheheheh.. today is my grandma's bday. went to meet darling for movie again before i went to my aunt's house.. wahaha sang ktv and play pool.. quite fun! ok i'm tired. see u again. does anyone noe i like bright and colourful colours? wahaha..

`Happy birthday to my ah ma!!

Heya. Its been one month again. I am very busy with projects, deadlines and deadlines. When issit going to END! Years of struggle, years of chasing after time (although u nv can catchup with it), so long. Oh yes darling and me shared money to buy tofu son plush and its really really cute with its sprawled-on-the-floor look. Watched crash and mindhunters recently, both are extremely good movies. Crash: racism that crashes. Mindhunters: a who's-the-murderer kind of movie. Thought-provoking movies. Crash sort of reaches deep into ur mind, leaves u thinking. It is a fact that such racial discrimination do happen. Mindhunters really nice especially the method of killing and i keep thinking who was actually the real murderer. There's a small twist near the end. The scriptwriter really has good brains to come up with such a wonderful plot. I just like.

Went home late on sat after movie.. we ate at 85 with the usual ppl. Nice hanging ard and eating my favorite Bak Chor Mee. Yummy! and so darling drove me back again. haha. Very tiring days followed. Sunday midnight, i was rushing ss mgmt journal and portfolio till 5am. How horrid. then Mon had to study for 2 tests. and then today i took the test onli to find out that the computer screwed up and i HAVE to go down specially to take it again. I hope the questions are roughly the same. we can hardly trust the computer sometimes, it breaks down when u need it, not like tissues. Issit Kleenex? Hmm. Got addicted to selling stuff online, i'm really very eager and happy that i managed to sell off those extra toys. Money rolling in!

Alrite.