It’s like they will die if they can’t have their fucking way;

Clubbing has nv been such fun and sort of a new realization.

Met up with nancy for dinner in town before heading to zouk for crystal’s celebration and the Fresh! Hip-hop event. Wore a frilly green top and ¾ jeans, I feel much comfortable actually. Tied up my very limp untidy hair and tad-ah! Neat. I feel so much better when tt guy said I actually look younger than I was in tat asylum-seeker photo. Guess it made my day. It might be true, it might not be, but who cares when I’ve heard it myself? It’s every (older) girl’s dreams to be acknowledged as younger! It tears our hearts apart when someone comments we actually look old.

OK anyway, it was quite fun dancing and drinking and watching beautiful people walk past. We all had our good and bad times at the club. And that’s because we had quite a shitty time deciding whether to go eat or not after clubbing.

`Think harder.

school's finally over for us,

who's had enuff of all the late nights rush, and bitching.

accounting was a killer. i have NO confidence in it at all cos my answers didn't tally with the rest. law was ok, i hope i can do better. wore my new birkenstocks to school, felt so great in it cos it looks nice. i try to wear jeans often now becos it satisfies my need to be more "free-spirited" in my actions.

i am free now, very relaxed and cool. its like, being revived after being dead for how many years. trying to apply for uni, with the choices, curtin looks to give me the course that is exactly wut i want; accounting and marketing. but well, i still need time to tink over first. it's a lifetime decision!!

i saw this burberry handbag at dfs tt day. it costs like $560. it looks cute. it looks the way i love it to be.

and it looks like i cant afford it. :(

`i'm trying hard
I have not blogged for quite some time.. due to projects and exams, guess there was no need at tt time to keep whining about my problems. anyway it has been quite a traumatic time rushing projects, keeping up with the tasks, filling in voids tts left over, turned my life with groupmates upside down. sometimes i tink its quite great tt we are meritocratic, in a way where ppl who dun work hard to earn their keeps shld really deserve nothing at all. it will be quite unfair, for the hardworking ppl to put in extra to make up for the deeds done by the others who are not. they jus dun understand.

Poly life whizzed past and i realised i'm graduating soon. Those 3 years or shorter, were really the best times of my entire life. I had fun, i was 18, i had a boyfren, i had great frens, i had my freedom. It was all tat i ever wanted to be. Sadly its gonna be dust in the wind soon, and i always hated such feelings, tat is to leave something for good, never going to come back again, this life we've led. in my mind i reverse the time, i snapped back to reality and zoomed! everything's not the way it used to be. people change, people come and go, this is such a fucking cruel thing becos we dun often get wut we want..

while queueing for the hk cafe on vday with my family, i overheard 1 guy complaining to his buddy: "hey, dun u tink its quite gay, 2 of us on valentine's day?" and then they sauntered off, clicking on their handphones.

alrite, its not cool to not celebrate vday with a loved one. so, i spared myself from the world of love givings in the air. i din wanna remind myself of the sad things. because of u, i've learnt alot abt love, experienced wut love is like, and i found out about myself, tt i wasnt really a nice girl to be with. i fought hard for my way of thinking, for the love i want to keep, but fighting really soured all the fun. then when i tink abt the past vday, how idiotic and mad i was, i got quite guilty and regretted the way i behaved but at the end, u gave me wut i really wished for, so i became happy again. i shld have been contented with having my love with me. its too late, but i will remind myself not to make the same mistake again, if ever. humans regret for their whole life, dont they?

i will be going back to HK once again on 4th april. guess its gonna be a fun-filled trip with shopping and playing and eating. free accommodation, cheap air tickets, wut more can i ask for!

i'm excited but i'm not showing it.

`i still wish u were here